There is a battle raging within us. This is not a new one by any stretch of the imagination, but most certainly has attained new attributes. It is the age old “Flesh against the Soul” but has evolved into a beast. I find intricate levels of confusion as I try to keep one hand gripping onto my own heart, and the other reaching out for the heart of my Lord.

As “A man who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the Kingdom“, so am I in my pursuit to hold fast to that which the Lord is asking me to trust Him in. OH! what agony it is to be a man divided…unstable in all my ways. I find solace in church, fellowship and all that is related to His wonderful word; In the same I find tumult because of my yielding to two masters. Who will free me from this body?

The city in which I currently reside seems to be in a spiritual “Arm-bar”…this scares me some because the evil one is thieving from my family and from me. Not that the enemy can provide such a wall that God could not destroy with the least bit of ease, but on the other side of that very same coin, that ground which is left unclaimed as the Kingdom of Heaven’s … is left for the scavengers and the wolves to apprehend, and divide amongst their blood thirsty appetites.

When communist rule had ordered the Christian’s to leave china in 1949,a particular testimony screams to me from out of the reluctant exodus. A Chinese pastor is tearfully saying his last goodbye to the missionaries that had brought the glorious message of Hope to his people. Along with these broken hearted converts, stood communist soldiers on each of the four walls, as well as at the door. These who patterned the walls bared a countenance of that only matched with the loveless. As the pastor stuttered through his tears, he turned, sweeping his hand in a motioning reference to the soldiers and said “And why are these men here?”
Without waiting for an answer he spoke again “They are not here because government has failed, but because we believers have failed in prayer and witness!” a bitter self indictment.

In my uneducated, shot in the dark guesses of what we are facing when it comes to the spiritual, I hardly know what school of thought to associate myself with. However, even with out the comfort of a group to belong to, I know what I read and what I see.

It seems very much to me that in the way failure of my prayer life has lent the ground of my heart to the enemy of my flesh; In like manner, a people failing in taking ground for the Kingdom of God, have left their land vulnerable and even welcoming the armies of Hell.
I love you guys more then anyone of you will ever know. I have failed in showing the fruit of that love to some of you by letting myself get in the way, but if there is one word I could share with my family of Christ before I die it would be this:

Pray…for me , for you, for your husbands, for your wives, for your shepherds, for your children, for your government, for the LOST, for the rest of your time, not as one who beats the air but as soldiers not entangled with the affairs of this vapor of an existence.

Oswald Chambers said: ” The majority of us saints are sound asleep to the devastation going on, we shall come under the curse of MEROZ if we do not rouse ourselves up and stand with God against the mighty”

“MEROZ”: Meroz is only mentioned once in scripture and has a strange fate, shared with that of Chorazin (Matt. 11:21), to be preserved from oblivion only by the record of a curse that was sentenced upon it. One must notice that the curse upon Meroz was NOT because of what they did, but rather because of what they didn’t do.

Judges 5:23 records…”Curse Meroz,’ said the angel of the LORD, ‘Utterly curse its inhabitants; Because they did not come to the help of the LORD, To the help of the LORD against the warriors.’

excerpt “Communist Rule” Leonard Ravenhill
excerpt “The Curse of Meroz” Oswald Chambers.
Thank you guys for your service.